Technology is Weird – Chrono Trigger Ep. 1

Ah, yes. Welcome to the next installment of Screenshot Let’s Plays on Save File. I recently just finished Final Fantasy VII. And now… due to a vote, I am moving onto yet another classic, hailed by many as the greatest RPG ever… Chrono Trigger. A game that always comes up in discussion of greatest SNES game, Greatest RPG, and sometimed even greatest game in general.

A game of adventure, mystery, and time travel done well (if not right), it’s easy to see why people fell in love with Chrono Trigger. It’s also easy to see why people were so disappointed with its “sequel,” Chrono Cross. But that’s a story for another day. I can’t sing this game’s praises enough, but please keep in mind that I will be altering some of the dialogue for humor’s sake. Or at least, what I perceive as humor. Hopefully you will as well. There’s nothing much to say except to just hop into it! This game is a stone cold CLASSIC.

MUSIC: A Premonition


Aw, man. Just the title screen gives me chills. The game does not play in widescreen, though my capture program does. So rather than editing every screencap, I figured Crono and Marle make worthy additions to the pictures.


And yes, we will be sticking to default names for this playthrough. They’re just too iconic not to do so.

MUSIC: Morning Sunlight


We fade in on an idyllic scene in the Kingdom of Guardia.


JESUS CHRIST, THE TOWN SQUARE IS EXPLODING!


Oh, there are balloons. I guess it’s a celebration of some sort.


Mom:
IT’S 1 PM, GET YOUR LAZY BONES OUT OF BED!


:


Every lazy teenage boy’s worst nemesis: daylight.


:


Mom: Let’s get moving now!


I need to start doing this when I get up from bed.


: ANGST! DARKNESS


Mom: Uh… you know…! Oh, dear, I’ve forgotten her name! That’s right, Lucca! Don’t forget that she invited you to see her new invention! Run along now, and be back before dinner.


: Kitty!


: Cha-ching! Time to go blow it all at the festival!

MUSIC: Memories of Green

Out on the world map are several places we can go in town, and also Leene Square.


For now though, let’s go check out the Mayor’s Manor.


Lady: This is the Mayor’s Education Center. Think of it as a workshop for beginners! You can take the things you find here!

The Mayor’s House serves as the typical “beginner’s hall” type area found in most Squaresoft RPGs. I know everything that they’d tell me here, but the main reason to check out the Mayor’s House is for the free items. They’re small, but anything free is worth it in games.


Free Tonic! Tonics heal 50 HP.


Ah, sweet, Save Point!


…uh?


Man: You’ll find more of them in riskier areas. Also, remember that you can log in anywhere on the World Map!

…heh. I actually tried to use that. I didn’t realize that it was a fake. My bad.


Free cash!


: Does your advice come in the form of items and/or money?


Nerd: “Techniques” are magic attacks that also utilize your weapons. You’ll acquire them with discipline.
: …and…?
Nerd: My, my! You’re so enthusiastic! Use this to help you get started!


: That’s more like it!


And that’s it for the free swag in the Mayor’s House.


Time to check out the Festival!

MUSIC: Guardia Millenial Fair


: Thanks, Gramps.


: I hear that bell every goddamn day. I’m a lazy, shiftless 17 year old who still lives at home with his mother. Hasn’t done much for me yet.


Woman: Hope it doesn’t blow up like all the others!
: Eh, it’d add some excitement to the day. Also,k given their track record… I wouldn’t count on it.


Melchior the Swordsmith is hanging out, and has some items for sale. The Iron Blade adds a respectful +2 to Crono’s attack.


The Lode Sword gives a whopping +9 to Crono’s attack, but it also comes with a price tag of 4000G. That’s a pretty penny we won’t be seeing for awhile. So for now, I snag the Iron Blade. I’ll be back for the Lode Sword later.


: Huh… creepy old man asking a teenage boy to visit him sometime on a different continent… yeah, that’s not weird at all! Sure, Melchior, I like your style.


Heading up to the plaza with Leene’s Bell, a crazy blonde chick is running frantically all over the place.


: Aw, Jesus!


Hey, she’s the one that’s moving first.


: Holy hell, is your skeleton made of adamantium? Christ, my head!


: Thanks for your concern?


Talking to the girl afterwards reveals that she is frantically looking for her pendant. She must have run into Crono at 10 mph or so, because the Pendant went flying off to the right.


: May I have it back?
: Would I ever hear the end of it if I kept it?
: Nope.
: Here you go.


: Would you mind if I walked around with you for a while?
: I… are you serious? You’re like, this smoking hot blonde chick. No, not at all!
: You’re a true gentleman!
: M’lady.
: Oh, by the way… My name is, er…


: Crono, at your service.


We’re now free to explore the Festival. There are several mini-games that can be competed in, in order to win Silver Points, a currency that can be exchanged for prizes only at the Millennial Festival.


: Is that… Mountain Dew???



: You’re awfully competitive, aren’t you, Crono?
: I like to Do the Dew.


: I dunno, he gave me crap for my Wooden Sword.
Woman: Do you think maybe that’s because it was a sword made of wood?
: …I don’t follow.


: As much as I would like to make some cash, that thing seems pretty important to her, so I think I’ll pass.


: Missing Kitten?! CRONO IS ON THE CASE!!


: You’re so sweet, Crono!
: We don’t deserve cats… *sniff*

Anyways, to progress the story, you need to talk to the lady at the fountain who references Lucca and her dad again. This is a trigger that allows you to go see what all the hubbub is about.


: This is going to be fun! Come on, Crono!
: Eeeehhhh… you don’t know Lucca like I do. I mean, it COULD be fun… it could also be extremely painful. Or maybe both! Why don’t you volunteer first?
: Um… Maybe? Why don’t we see how it goes.
: Suit yourself. It could be… fun.


There’s also a merchant selling some better equipment than Crono currently has equipped. I buy 2 Karate Gi, and give one to Crono. I don’t give one to Marle because… reasons. (Being I’ve played this game before, and she’ll use it once before she disappears with it, so I don’t bother).


Another little mini-game is using the mallet to try and ring the bell. Not the most lucrative method of gathering Silver Points though.


Probably the best method is off to the left, though. And by “probably,” I mean “definitely.”


It… it’s a giant, pink cat robot.

MUSIC: Gato’s Song


JAPAN, ladies and gentlemen!!

MUSIC: Battle


Aw, snap! It’s the first fight of the game!


Combat in Chrono Trigger is standard fare RPG. Use swords, crossbows, and other related weapons to stab, slash, shoot, bonk, and do other violent actions to enemies until they give up, are knocked out, or die.


It uses the Active Time Battle system, meaning the ATB bar has to fill up before you can have a character take an action. Right now, all we can do is Attack or use items.


Gato is very much a practice battle anyways.


He still gives out EXP and tech points upon his defeat though.

MUSIC: Gato’s Song


Anyways, beating Gato up over and over again, or slugging down Dews are the best way to accumulate Silver Points quickly.

But let’s go see what all the fuss about Lucca’s invention is, shall we?

MUSIC: Guardia Millennial Fair


: Meh, I may as well get some too.


: Hi! I’d like some of this.
Lady: Sure, young lady!
: Thanks for waiting!


Welp, let’s get a move on!


Taban: To use it, jump up here…


: …what.


: Where have you been?! No one wants to try the Telepod! How about you?
: What? Lucca, we live in a world where STEAM and WOOD BURNING are the primary sources of energy! How in the blue hell did you create two pods out of steel and copper wiring? And why don’t you find it odd that people find this a little bit strange?!


: Oh, HELL no!


:


: …this better get me laid by ONE of you. And NOT YOU, Taban!


: This is a terrible idea, isn’t it?


: Is your father powering this device by hitting a piece of sheet metal with a hammer?? THIS IS DEFINITELY A TERRIBLE IDEA.


: OH GOD, MY ORGANS.


: FUCK no! My internals should not feel like they are on FIRE!


Taban: Uh, er, a thrilling display of science at its best, ladies and gentlemen!
: Blergh…


: Hurrrggghhhhnnnnnnn…ooooooooo…
: Huh? Hey Crono, how did you pick up a cutie like her?
: *vomiting*


: Don’t go away. I’ll be right back!
Taban: You’re sure about this…? There’s still time to change your mind!
: No way! Throw the switch!
: Oh, god… don’t… don’t do it!!


Taban: All systems on!
: Begin energy transfer!
: Nooooooooooooo!

MUSIC: A Strange Happening


Marle’s pendant starts to glimmer…


: Huh??


: Oh…
: …shit.


Taban: Show’s over, folks! Let’s head along now!



Taban: WHAT DID YOU DO? I HAVE NO DAUGHTER! DON’T BOTHER COMING HOME!!


: The warp field seemed to be affected be her pendant.
Taban: What are we going to do now?
: She’s so familiar! I KNOW I’ve seen her somewhere…


: Well… about time for me to be hitting the ol’ dusty trail…


: Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me! What kind of bullshit logic is that? Yeah, I brought her here, but it was YOUR batshit crazy experiment that sent her off to Wherethefuckistan! Don’t you dare pin this on me!
: But thou must!
: What? I must what?
: But thou must!
: Hell no! I’m going home!
: But thou must!
: Let me through, Lucca!
: But thou must!
: …
: But though must!
: …God damn it…

MUSIC: Crono’s Theme


Taban: You’re actually going to do it?! What a fine lad!
: Did you not just see your daughter strong arm me into this bullshit?
Taban: What a fine lass!
: Listen! I don’t know where this machine is going to send you, but we haven’t any other choice.
Taban: Won’t they both be lost?
: This is our only hope! That pendant seems to be the key, so hang onto it Crono, and brace yourself!


: Begin energy transfer!
: …dammit.
: Power to full!
Taban: Roger!
: More! Give me more power!


: I HATE YOU BOTH.


: JESUS CHRIST, AM I ON FIRE?! I FEEL LIKE I’M ON FIRE!!
: I’ll follow you after I know what went wrong. Good luck, Crono!
: OH GOD, MY ORGANS!!



: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

NEXT TIME: Where the hell is Crono going to end up??

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