Welcome back to Save File Plays Final Fantasy VII! Last time, the party managed to take out Diamond Weapon, and Shinra managed to take out the barrier covering the Northern Crater. With that gone, there’s nothing between Sephiroth and sweet, sweet death. So let’s just go kill him and end this. I’M SURE IT WILL BE THAT SIMPLE!!
TIME TO FIND OUT WHO CAIT SITH REALLY IS!!!
MUSIC: The Shinra Corporation
: Not the President. To Sister Ray!
: Kya haa haa. What is it, Reeve? You’re speaking strangely.
: None of that matters! The reactor’s output is increasing all by itself!
: Wait a minute. That’s not wise?
Gee, ya think? Why don’t you DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, ya dumb slag!?
Oh shit, remember this guy?? Hojo, ladies and gentlemen!
: Hojo, STOP! The cannon, no, Midgar itself is in danger!
: Ha ha ha… One or two Midgars? It’s a small price to pay…
: Hojo! HOJO!!
: Show me… Sephiroth. It should be near… Ha ha ha… Go beyond the powers of science. Before your presence, science is powerless. I don’t like it, but I’ll comply. Just let me see it… ha ha ha…
Huh. I think Hojo has finally graduated fully to ‘Mad Scientist’ status. Good for him.
: We’re sunk. Hojo’s doing this on his own… Huh??
: You’re busted, Reeve! Too late tryin’ to hide it now.
: Can’t you stop the Mako reactor?
: …We can’t stop it.
: You’re from Shinra, ain’t ya? So why’s it impossible?!
: I can’t make you trust me…
: You damn fool! Don’t you understand anything I’m saying? I don’t give a damn about Shinra. If you’re a man… no, if you’re a human being, you’ll save the planet! Don’t you even care?
: No way! If we shut down the reactor, all hell will break loose!
: Yeah, it’s easy to shut off the reactor’s pipe valves… But the reactor made a path for the energy to escape from below. Once you open that, it’ll be impossible to close it until everything blasts out. And we can’t try to stop the energy from gushing out…
: An explosion!
: This blast’ll be way stronger than when the Sector 1 Reactor blew up!
: Forget that… the CANNON! We’ve got to get to Midgar! That’s the first thing!
: Must stop Hojo first…
Well, at least they’ve got their priorities in order. Sephiroth can wait a little longer, right??
: Gyaa ha haaa! Don’t be foolish! I don’t remember anyone putting you in charge! The Peace Preservation force will do their best to beat the enemy! Because of them, I… I…
: That’s a private matter…
: The President is dead! Now I’m doing things my way! Gyaa ha ha!
: Kya ha ha! Heidegger! Now I’m going to use the new weapon!
…why do I feel like this is pretty much what would happen in our current government as well?
MUSIC: Cid’s Theme
Look, they even added the Cannon to Midgar’s world model! That’s actually pretty cool.
: Even if we get there, Midgar’s under martial law! There’ll be no way we could slip into the slums.
: Looks like all transportation from the slums is cut off…
: Hey, hey, what do you think we have the Highwind for? Where are we now??
: Huh? Where are we?
: If land’s no go… We’ll go by air!
: Okay then! We’ll parachute into Midgar!!
MUSIC: Bombing Mission
We slide on over to an alley. It’s unfortunate that we never REALLY get to explore Midgar, I feel like it’d be pretty cool.
Yep… back in Midgar and we’re going to spend all of our time in the sewers. Rad.
The Max Ray is Barret’s second most powerful weapon, so you’ll want to hang onto it for Materia Growth + Power.
Oh, hey! It’s a Behemoth! These things have been FF staples since the second one, I think? They’re super tough in some games. Not so much in this one. They have a lot of HP, but don’t hit particularly hard.
We then end up in the train tunnels. You’re supposed to go up/forward to progress, but if you head backwards, there are some pretty great items to be found.
Luckily, it’s impossible to get lost. It’s just a straight shot, the other tunnels are blocked off.
Oh, and THESE little sons of bitches. They’re not tough. At all. Instead, their attack animation takes FOREVER AND A DAY. And it’s not even an attack, usually, they spend their first turn casting Slow, which makes the battle take EVEN LONGER. This isn’t a particularly fast-paced game, but these battles are just agonizingly slow. And you run into them constantly here in the tunnels.
In case you weren’t sure which direction you were supposed to be headed, after awhile you run into Red XIII, who helpfully tells you you’re not going the right way.
BUT KEEP ON KEEPING ON.
AH-HA. You can reach the end of the tunnel which contains the W-Item Materia, which can be exploited to break the game in a wonderful way, which I will be doing in my attempts to defeat the optional Weapons. There’s also a Save Point, because it’s a pain in the ass getting all the way down here, and if you’re firing magic off like I’ve been, a Tent is very welcome at this point.
Anyways, let’s pretend I’m right back where I started, after getting the W-Item Materia.
MUSIC: Turks’ Theme
: Come on, we’ve got work to do.
: I’m not really up for it, but…
: Our orders were to seek you out and… kill. Our company may be in turmoil, but an order’s an order. That’s the spirit of the Turks! Believe it!
The interesting thing here is if you answer “No, let’s not,” you can actually avoid the fight entirely. It just won’t happen.
But I opt to fight so I can get some sweet loot, EXP and AP.
It should say a lot about this fight that it doesn’t even get the boss music. It’s not very tough. Reno and Rude don’t have any new tricks. Elena can hit the entire party for a little damage, one character for a little damage, or cause confuse on a character.
The Minerva Band is a pretty sweet armor that can only be equipped on Female party members. Rude and Reno both have another Ziedrich and Rough Ring, respectively.
Now, we can continue on our way, and we’ll run into the rest of the team who are not in the current party.
Cid is just the best.
That’s right, we can get back into the Shinra HQ!
There’s absolutely no one around. There are still encounters, but they’re the same enemies from the first time we were here and all go down in one hit. We couldn’t open these chests the first time we were here. They contain obsolete weapons for Tifa and Barret, the Master Fist and the Pile Bunker. Still though, it just makes me feel better to get them, even if I won’t be using them.
THIS, however, is important. The HP Shout is Cait Sith’s ultimate weapon. Even if I won’t be using him at all for the rest of the game, it makes me feel better to have it. This CAN be found the first time through, but Cloud says there’s no use for it, and leaves it here. You can also still rest on this floor.
Now, continuing on…
MUSIC: The Shinra Corporation
: You killed so many of my precious soldiers!
: Gyaaa haa haaa! But let’s see how you do against anti-Weapon artillery!
: You guys are worthless, but my proud creation is great! I’ll show you the destructive power of the Proud Clod!
I mean… if you say so. We’ve already beat Diamond Weapon…
It sucks that I missed the last part of Tifa’s Limit Drive, but you can see why I like to keep her in the party. Her Limit Break does tons of damage. Plus it’s pretty badass to see her suplex a robot that’s like 100x her size.
And then they exploded. No, really. This is the end of Heidegger and Scarlet. And good riddance, they both suck.
I’ll take it!
Oh my goodness, finally! We’re finally at the Cannon!
GODDAMMIT, SHUT UP, VINCENT.
Very close to the top of the cannon is a chest containing the Missing Score, Barret’s ultimate weapon. There’s a catch though. The chest is ONLY here if Barret is in the party. There’s a save point at the bottom of the stairs, so I imagine it’s possible to swap Barret into the party, grab the Missing Score, and then swap him out, if you don’t want to use him, but also don’t want to miss out on the item.
Now, it’s time for CONFRONTATION.
: Oh… the failure.
: At least remember my name! It’s Cloud!
: Every time I see you… it pains me that I had so little scientific sense. I saw you as a failed project. But you’re the only one that succeeded as a Sephiroth-clone. Heh heh heh… I’m even beginning to hate myself.
: Energy level is at… 83%. It’s taking too long. My son needs power and help. That’s the only reason.
: …your son?
: Ha ha ha… But he doesn’t know it. Ha ha ha… HA HA HA! What will Sephiroth think when he finds out I’m his father? He always looks down on me. HA HA HA!!
: Sephiroth is your son?!
So this, like… should be a big reveal. But since I already went to see Lucrecia and saw Vincent’s flashback, it kind of ruins the impact of this moment. …Whoops.
Well, at least he’s meeting the mad scientist laughter quota. Along with his willingness to give up his firstborn.
: Illusionary crime against Sephiroth…
: Hee hee hee! No, you’re wrong! It’s my desire as a scientist! Hee hee hee! I… was defeated by my drive to become a scientist. I lost the last time too. I’ve injected Jenova’s cells into my own body! Hee hee hee! Here are… hee hee hee… the results!!
It’s time to face off against Hojo! This isn’t too tough of a fight. I mean, he’s a scientist, for Pete’s sake.
After defeating the first form, he transforms into this monstrosity known as Helletic Hojo. You can target both of his arms, but they grow back pretty quickly, so it’s better to just focus on the main body.
Lifeform Hojo-N. Lifeform Hojo-N is more annoying than anything else. He has a combo attack, and REALLY loves status effects.
The cool thing is that he attacks Cloud constantly, who has the Ribbon equipped, making him immune to status effects. Cloud also has the Counter Attack Materia equipped, meaning he has a chance to counter each hit in Hojo’s combo attack.
This update has gotten SILLY long, so we’ll end on this black screen, and see the aftermath of Shinra’s demise next time on Save File Plays Final Fantasy VII!