Soldier Life – FFVII Ep. 15

Oh, hello. Welcome back to Save File Plays FFVII. Last time, We screwed up playing the Fort Condor mini-game, and spent all of my money. We then made it to Junon, beat up a boss, saved a little girl’s life, and took part in a parade honoring the new president of Shinra Inc. Whoops. Now, I’m pretty sure we’re trying to find a way to cross the ocean? Things are a little muddy at this point. Let’s try and get it sorted, shall we?

MUSIC: Welcoming Ceremony

Oh, yeah. The office was mad because he cut himself on Cloud’s edge. So now Cloud is being punished by having to do more rehearsal. THE MILITARY, EVERYONE. (I am in no way shape or form mocking the REAL military, just this stupid, fake one.)

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Officer: I’ll keep drilling you until it’s time.

WHOA NOW, This game is only rated T for Teen!


Ohhhhhhhh, you mean…

Heh. My mistake.

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Officer: Today’s command is formation! Remember it! Ready? Junon Military Send Off, BEGIN!

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What ensues us a mini-game where the Commander gives us orders such as turn left, turn right, or use one of the four main buttons. Unfortunately for me, I had my controller mapped incorrectly, and didn’t think to fix it. So I don’t do as well as I should have. EXCUSES. I mean, I know I could have remapped it or done it again, but I am an impatient man (I eventually fix it).

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Soldier #1: Commander!! What’s today’s special pose?
Officer: Huh? …I haven’t decided yet. All right, rookie! I’ll let you decide! Show me your best move!

“Show me your move?” Who does this guy think he is, Captain Falcon?

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MUSIC: Victory!


Cloud proceeds to spin his rifle around like he does his sword at the end of battles.

MUSIC: Welcoming Ceremony

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Officer: All right!! We’ll go with that as our special! Show time! Don’t disgrace yourselves! Well then! Meet at the dock!! Don’t be late!

With that, we are FINALLY free to explore the upper reaches of Junon proper!

Huh. That guy looks a little familiar…

Well, don’t mind if I do.

Shopkeeper: I was just starting to get worried… you see, our sales were pretty bad today.

Materia Shop!

So after spending ALL OF MY MONEY and still FAILING at Fort Condor, I ground out a little more Gil. Not nearly enough, unfortunately. We already have a Sense Materia, as well as 2 Restores and a Heal. New though, are the Seal and Revive Materia. Seal is… uh… I don’t even remember. BUT I NEED ONE, DAMMIT.

Meanwhile, Revive Materia is extremely valuable. It brings a character back from KO. Having one is good, and having two would be even better, but I’m kind of poor. I don’t remember how many I scoop up, but I can tell you it’s at least one!

There are a lot of places to check out.


…Well, I can ALMOST afford them. Luckily for me, I managed to snag the Atomic Scissors awhile ago, which makes things a little easier on the ol’ wallet. There’s also no new armor. So I only need to pick up two new weapons for now, in theory, I might be switching up my party though, as is my wont. The Hardedge needs to be purchased for sure, as Cloud will always be in the party. I don’t particularly care for Aeris, and she’s never a hard-hitter anyways. In the end, I scoop up the Grand Glove for Tifa and the Boomerang (off-screen) for Yuffie as well. Red XIII is cool and all, but he just gets left out of the loop this time.

The Hardedge boasts a significant attack boost over the Mythril Saber, and also adds another Materia Slot.

There’s also a basement to this weapon shop that can be explored.

Rude: Hmm? You too? Then, take off your mask and come here. That’s our rule.

I… I don’t think I’ll be doing that.

Barmonger: Seems like you’re all a little too young to be in here.


It’s another shop!

This one is just an item shop though. Lucky for me, I don’t really need any items. And even if I did, it’s not like I could afford them. I’m POOR.

Last one on this side!

Huh, looks like some sort of housing complex. There’s nothing of interest on the first floor.

Got some items here. The 1/35th Soldier is an attack item that can be used in battle. There’s also a Mind Source and a Luck Source to be found on this floor.

This is found on the third floor.

Soldier: Mmm? No, I’m not going to the parade. The road to becoming SOLDIER First Class is very difficult.

Good for this guy. At least he has his priorities in check.

Also, this.

We reach the area where we last saw Rufus and Heidegger. Not much going on here now, though.

Hmm. That’s a long tunnel. We can’t do anything with it right now though, so I just move on.

And out the other side! The pre-rendered background in this game are still really damn good-looking, I must say.

Aw, geez. Even more shops? Hey, where’s that guy going?

Ya know, I must say, at least two of those figures look rather familiar.


Or… maybe not shopping?

MUSIC: Turks

Reno: Hey G.I. Joe, aren’t you still on duty?
Tseng: Stay outta this.



I just wanted to feel included. And jam out to your groovy theme music.

MUSIC: Welcoming Ceremony

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Not necessary. Good price though!

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Shopkeeper: If we don’t do this… we can’t compete. But, what bothers me is that the girls make more than me.

Maybe if you carried better merchandise, business would be better. JUST SAYIN’.

Shopkeeper: But to tell you the truth, I’d rather be at the shop downstairs.

Hey, at least he’s honest.

It’s an accessory shop, but I find most accessories to be superfluous. I guess that’s why they’re called accessories! Also, they’re expensive, and I don’t have any money. I’m pretty sure that I sold accessories to be able to afford all of the other things that I bought.


Soldier: Look, I shouldn’t talk, but…


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Manager: …and they told me I would be staying at five star hotels on these trips.

You… you mean, gigantic corporations LIE!? *gasp* Say it ain’t soooo-oooo-oh!

Last one!

Shopkeeper: We don’t have much of anything now. I forgot to order enough the last time, but feel free to look around!

This guy has the same stash of equipment that was available back in Kalm. I’m not really sure why he’s here, but at least it’s some interesting world-building. Or maybe if you were too poor to afford the upgrades back then, and then couldn’t afford the newer stuff here? Not really sure.


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Officer: Ten… HUT!
Soldier: President Rufus… has now arrived!
Officer: This is it!! Junon Military Reception! Do it right! Do it with enthusiasm! Ready…!

A mini-game ensues where you have to follow the orders of the commander. Doing well increases the President’s mood gauge.

Unfortunately, I was still having controller issues…

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You can actually increase it up to somewhere around 160% if you do everything correctly, I think. Also, can you spot the hidden character in this shot? Hint: he’s got four legs!

I end up with a solid 80% though. A good B rating. Hey, just like in real life!

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Heidegger: A token of the President’s kindness! Don’t forget it!

He then hands over an HP Plus Materia, which is pretty damn sweet! It increases Max HP by a certain percentage, which increases as it gains levels.

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Rufus: We can’t have them get in our way.
Heidegger: Leave it up to me, sir! Gya haa ha!
Rufus: I thought I told you to stop that stupid laugh.
Heidegger: Gya…

Soldier #1: That was close.
Soldier #2: Heidegger’s been really edgy lately.
Soldier #1: Because Hojo disappeared, leaving a letter of resignation. Heidegger’s been forced to take over that investigation too.
Officer: Hey! I thought you were dismissed!

Oh, yeah.

Totally. I’m DEFINITELY going to go do that cleaning…

Cloud: …even if we are wearing Shinra’s uniforms…

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NEXT TIME:  I’M ON A BOAT! I’m sorry, there’s just no avoiding it.

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