Welcome back to Save File Plays Super Mario RPG! Last time we managed to finish off Bowser’s Keep, and make our way to the… other dimension where Smithy is currently holed up. Or something like that. Anyways, it’s the last dungeon of the game, and I still have stuff to do on the outside before I finish it off, so that’s what we’re going to do this time around!
Mine Dude: I found some neat stuff and I’m opening up a “Miner’s Store.” Come and take a look at what I’ve got to sell. Item #1: a “Lucky Jewel!” It’s sure to bring you plenty of good luck!
Gives you a 100% chance to play the Yoshi minigame at the end of battles. Only multiplies coins though. PASS.
If you buy this, and then go to Marrymore and buy the B’tub Ring, equip that on Toadstool, and have her use the Mystery Egg ONE HUNDRED TIMES, it turns into the Sleepy Sheep, or something like that, which puts enemies to sleep. TOTALLY NOT WORTH IT. PASS.
The “Metal Plate” is the Frying Pan, Toadstool’s ultimate weapon. It gives a whopping +90 to her attacking, making it the only weapon that can match up to the Lazy Shell. Yes, Toadstool is broken as all hell.
MUSIC: Booster Tower
I wonder what happened to Goony Booster after his “wedding…”
We can also run into Knife Guy on the way up the tower. I hate this guy.
Knife Guy: Here, I’ll make it up to ya! Hee haaaaw… Are we having fun yet? …Hee hee hee. Okay! That was just practice. This time it’s for REAL. Ya up to it?! …Hee hee. Guess which hand the yellow ball is in… IF YOU CAN! Now watch carefully.
If you do this 30 times correctly, you’ll get a “Bright Card.” If you do it 100 times correctly, you get a Red Essence. Every time you get it right, you get either a Wilt Shroom (heals 10 HP), a Rotten Mush (heals 5 HP) or a Moldy Mush (heals 1 HP). Sorry, not worth it to me. But at least I can tell you what you’d get!
What… what the hell did he say?! I NEED TO KNOW.
WOOOOOOOO, this tower is WAY easier to go down that it is to climb up.
I pick up two Crystallines and two Power Blasts at Tadpole Pond, to make life a little easier later.
But you need to win the Bright Card from Knife Guy to be able to get in. You can play Slots, Blackjack or “Look the Other Way.” I hate gambling, so I don’t even bother. You can also sell the Bright Card to the guy who’s been trying to get to the Casino all game long. I think he gives you like 500 Coins or something for it.
MUSIC: Fight Against Monsters
However, the first battle against Jinx…
: I guess I underestimated you. You pack quite a punch! But don’t let it get to your head, because I let you HAVE that round. Let’s have a rematch. All right, you asked for it. And no crying if you get hurt!
But round two isn’t so bad either.
: Still haven’t had enough? It isn’t often that I have someone this competitive to spar with! All right, this match will be the one that counts, since I’m placing my reputation on the line! Watch closely, Jagger. You’re about to see your Sensei in action.
: My reputation was staked on this last fight, so I’ve lost the title of “Sensei.” From today, you are the Sensei of this dojo. Please take this belt, which only the highest ranking fighter in the dojo can wear.
MUSIC: Monstro Town
Mario shows them how it’s done.
“Mario Style Dojo” has a nice ring to it.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE!
No, I’m not kidding.
I am about to do the hardest fight in the game.
Harder than the final boss.
And I am going to BREAK IT WIDE OPEN.
By abusing my game-breaking equipment.
Let’s get to it!
I’m making Toadstool into the ultimate fighting machine. The Lazy Shell makes her defense astronomical, but tanks her attack by -50. To counteract that to make sure she still hits hard, I give her our newly won Jinx Belt, which raises her defense even more, and gives a +27 to her attack. Not as good as it was beforehand, but still pretty darn good.
: I have crossed into this dimension to fight for the Dark Mage. But this world is uninhabitable for me and my kind. I must return to my own world. Before I go though, I would like to challenge your strongest knight. You will enter combat against me? EN GARDE!
MUSIC: Fight Against Culex
So here we are. The battle against Culex and his four elemental crystals (Fire, Water, Earth and Wind). They all have access to the strongest magic in the game, and a lot of HP.
So I’m going to boost Toadstool, and then Geno and Mario are probably going to die pretty quickly.
But for clarity’s sake, this is the battle that I’ve been hoarding all of the Rock Candies for.
200 HP to every enemy on screen? YES. YES. ALL OF THE YES. ROCK CANDIES WERE TAILOR MADE FOR THIS FIGHT.
MORE ROCK CANDIES.
And Dark Star is, luckily, only a single-target spell. It takes off about 4/5 of Geno’s max HP.
Light Beam attempts to put the entire party to sleep. Luckily, Toadstool is immune.
MUSIC: Victory Over Culex
MUSIC: Conversation With Culex
: Thank you, brave knight. I will treasure this memento of my journey here. Perhaps in another time, another game, we may have been mortal enemies…Let us part as comrades in arms. Take this. Treasure it as a keepsake of our fight.
Also, good going breaking the fourth wall, ya jackass.
And just like that… he’s gone.
NEXT TIME: THE GATES OF… uh… SMITHY’S FACTORY.