Welcome back to Save File plays Super Mario RPG! Last time, I botched a mini-game, but then I ended up fulfilling an old man’s (frog’s?) wish, so I guess it evened out? This time, I’m going to do what I’m SUPPOSED to do and get through Land’s End properly. I hope.
Alllllll the way back at the start.
You’ll excuse me if I don’t show most of the battles.
But I WILL show off the level ups. Of which there are many.
MUSIC: The Road is Full of Dangers
When you’re NOT playing the mini-game on the Sky Bridge, it’s pretty hard to fall off unless you do it deliberately. When you land, it locks you in place for a second, so you can’t really slip off of any of the blocks.
What… I REALLY don’t get the geography of this place. I just fell from a grassy plateau and am now in the desert. This makes no sense. Anyways, there’s a little mousey dude here that we can speak to.
Mouse: Where are you heading? Is it Monstro Town by any chance? OK, listen up. Look for the whirl where the ant pops up and proceed after it. Keep following it and you’ll find your way underground. Once there, Monstro Town’s just around the corner. I’ll see you there.
So the gimmick for the next area is whirlpools. You have to make sure you go down the right one, or you will be frustratingly led in circles.
So the ant pops his head out of one of the pools. If you run into it, he’ll pop up and you have to fight him. Then you go down that whirlpool to advance. The game tries to mess with you and spins the pools around after the fight though.
Every time you bump into one of the ants, it’s a battle with 3 Shoguns. They’re pretty beefy, but Toadstool and Mario can one-shot one of them each. Mallow… not so much. To be fair, Toadstool can only do so because she’s so over-leveled.
…climb what? This isn’t Assassin’s Creed, Mario can’t just scale a sheer cliff wall!
Mouse: Isn’t this incredible? It really does look like the edge of the world, doesn’t it? It’s too spooky for me! I’m heading back to Monstro Town. See ya!
Finally, the origin of the 2spooky4me meme has been discovered. Mario RPG, you had so much to teach…
… for whatever reason.
I mean, I GUESS I’m okay with it…
MUSIC: The Invincible Star
Oh… But, I…
WHY DID THE STAR HAVE TO RUN OUT???
Um… OF COURSE!!!!!
What… this guy seriously has a whole TEMPLE devoted to him? That’s hardcore.
No need, thank you. I don’t want to have to go through Land’s End AGAIN.
This chest contains 50 Coins. There is a reason for that.
Because we need to spend 50 Coins in order to advance, and given that most players just blew 400 Coins on a Star, there’s a chance that you might not have 50 Coins here. But I do. Because money is easy to get when you slaughter everything in sight.
A pile of bricks and a scroll come tumbling down. The fortune is just icing on the cake. The bricks are necessary for you to advance, as you need to jump on them to progress.
Oh cool, a Yoshi Cookie. The fortunes all vary. Some lead to treasure, some lead to battles. One of them probably leads to nothing.
Lame. Getting this message means that you can’t advance.
What this is SUPPOSED to mean is that you’re supposed to go back to the fortune room and redo it. But what you can ACTUALLY do is just leave this room and come back, and chances are good that you’ll get the other message that allows you to advance. And if you don’t, just keep trying, because you’ll get it eventually. There’s no need to keep going back and spending 50 Coins.
You know, I thought he was dead. Guess I was wrong!
Mario clones just jump on you. And herein lies my reasoning for bringing Mallow and Toadstool along; the clones of them are the weakest. Bowser clones are pretty beefy, and Geno clones have access to some dangerous magic. And you can’t really avoid Mario clones.
Here are the lines Belome gives for the other characters:
Toadstool: Tastes peachy!
Mallow: YES! THIS is YUMMY~
Geno: Bitter, but not bad…
Bowser: Yuck! How repulsive!
It’s not really a difficult battle.
Taking out Belome again was enough for Bowser to hit Level 18, upon which he also gains his last Special Attack. Bowser only has 4 Magic Attacks, but that’s okay, he’s way more of a physical attacker than a magic-user.
Oh, hey. Here we are!
MUSIC: Monstro Town
This door has a roof. Kind of. That must mean it’s kind of special! Let’s check it out!
Monstermama: Welcome to Monstro Town, where many of our kind mingle. I’m the landlady, Monstermama. A star, you say? Oh, you’re here to see OUR star! She’s upstairs, so feel free to go and take a look for yourself.
Er… she? I don’t think that’s quite the right way to talk about a Star Piece.
Mouse: But the strangest person I met is this old geezer in Rose Town. He really is weird, but definitely worth meeting.
Hmm, I wonder if that will be important. Also, I managed to screencap that Pandorite blinking, which really just makes it look like it has no eyes and that’s kind of creepy.
Pandorite: Sometimes if you jump at the right places, a treasure box will pop out of thin air. Anything like this happen to you? These treasure boxes are known as “Surprise Boxes,” because they appear out of nowhere.
Monstermama: She’s so talented too! Folks come to see her from afar. …Starbees? Oh, Star Piece! Nope, not familiar with ’em. So you came all the way out here to search for a Star Piece? It must be REALLY important. This is the last place on land. If you can’t find it here… The only place left is UP!
Monstermama: OK, here’s what you need to do. There’s a secret passage to the sky… at Bean Valley! But first you must scale the cliff beyond the desert to get there. Since you’re such a nice guy, I’ll introduce you to someone that can help you. Sky Troopas, I need you!
Troops: 8.52 second, Sergeant!
Sgt. Flutter: We’re 0.52 seconds late! I hold myself personally accountable for the delay, Ma’am!
Monstermama: No need to bother with the protocol around me, Sergeant. I’ve got a favor to ask of you.
Sgt. Flutter: Yes Ma’am! Anything we can do for a civilian.
Monstermama: This fellow here REALLY wants to get to Bean Valley. Could you help him scale the cliff?
Sgt. Flutter: Understood, Ma’am! The orders are: “Get Mustache over the cliff!” We WILL succeed! We will now deploy ourselves to the cliff at Land’s End. Troopas, keep a tight formation! We have lift off!
Wait… so this means I have to go through Land’s End AGAIN??? DAMMIT!
Hmm. How am I supposed to get that key?
Chow: Those multiple jumps of yours are pretty amazing! I heard that your record for consecutive jumps stands at 13. How DO you do it? Jump more than 30 times in a row, and I’ll give you a prize!
Yeah, that’s not going to happen unless I abuse save states, and I don’t do that. OH WELL.
Piranha Plant: He’s always mumbling about a Crystal-this and an Evil-that. Isn’t a “Crystal” some kind of shiny rock… or something? I know I’ve seen those somewhere!
Thwomp: I may be out-jumped, but you’re totally out-pumped! …The strong, silent type, eh? Don’t you dig these vibes?
Luckily, that manages to shake the Temple key off of the ledge above.
Goomba: Bowser… it’s been ages, hasn’t it? Sorry about going AWOL on you. I ran away because I was scared to fight Smithy. A lot has happened since then, but look how far I’ve come. I’m managing this store now. And look, here are my little ones. Come on, show your manners and greet Uncle Bowser.
Goomba: Although I can’t fight for you, I still have some items you can use. Maybe you’ll find it in your heart to forgive me if I can help you get equipped!
: …Don’t worry about it. I’m not angry with you. I’ve got new troops now, and we’re going to reclaim my castle! You go on with your life here. I wish you the best.
Goomba runs a regular item shop, as well as carrying some new equipment for Bowser.
Don’t mind if I do!
Greaper: He’s sleeping.
Dry Bones: Boy, he sure is.
Big Boo: Check those bubbles coming out of his nose! Maybe he can still hear us while he’s asleep? Hey, you! We want to play a round of “Find the Flag!”
Greaper: Right! We’ll each hide a flag somewhere around the world.
Dry Bones: Yeah. Find all three flags, and you’ll get an awesome prize. We’ll go and hide the flags. See you when we get back!
Uh… thanks, anthropomorphic mushroom night light.
Dry Bones: I’m hoooooome! My flag’s under a green bed.
Big Boo: I’m back! You’ll never guess my spot! It’s between “O” and “A.” Our flags are invisible, so search VERY carefully when you think you’ve found the spot.
3 Musty Fears: Don’t forget what we told you!
Seems like we have a side quest on our hands…
OH MY COW, THERE’S SO MUCH TO DO HERE.
Jagger: Bowser! I haven’t seen you for so long. I’ve been studying here at the dojo under the Sensei “Jinx” because… tot ell you the truth, I… I knew I couldn’t beat Smithy. That’s why I’m here now. Someday I’m going to return and make you proud!
: …Don’t worry about me. I’ve got new Troopas now, and we’re going to take back my castle. You stick to your guns! Train like there’s no tomorrow!
Jagger: In the meantime, will you accept a challenge from me? Great! You know that I’m not going to make it easy for you, right?
Yeah, that’s a good way to show you appreciate your old boss… by thrust punching him right in the solar plexus.
Jagger: Mario, you’re a top-notch fighter!
Jagger: Sensei! Have you been here all along?
Jinx: Hmmm. You felt my Ki, didn’t you? Not bad for a novice!
NEXT TIME: Land’s End. AGAIN.